i have some stuff to say.
if you care to listen, come back often.
tuesday afternoon i met my good friends josh and wes and wes’s son jaeden at universal city to see the new mission impossible movie. josh chose that theater to see it because it was the only one in los angeles that was showing the six minute preview of the new batman movie, the dark knight rises.
universal city charges you $7 to park your car after a validation that refunds you $8. parking without getting your ticket validated costs you $15. the movie (a matinee) costs $18.50. wes’s young son was eligible for a children’s ticket- $1 off, $17.50. josh was able to get a deal for being a member of the theater- $16.50.
there is no way in hell i will ever be seeing a movie there again.
ok, enough of how we all got raped by universal city and how illegal that should be.
i was very, very excited to see the preview of the new batman movie. in fact, if it had not preceded mission impossible i would not have gone to see that movie. but to be honest, i was disappointed. the scene was confusing and worse than that was how hard it was to understand what the character bane was saying! the effect on his voice needs to be taken back a notch or some subtitles might work. but the movie will definitely be awesome, there is almost no doubt about it.
as far as the new mission impossible movie… i would say skip it. wait for the dvd. its the only one in the series i didnt enjoy. it was too long, the humor felt forced to me, the leading lady isnt a smokin’ hottie, and its just too much of the same stuff over and over again. for me personally, i need more out of a movie than cool cars and gadgets to get me interested. but thats what this movie was all about, and i knew that going in, so its all good. but, bad.
sherlock holmes 2 was better. see that.
happy monday! ready to start another work week? uh-oh, you look tired. why dont you have a couple cups of coffee? or maybe a diet coke? oh, i got it! pound an energy drink! you’ll feel great! hmmm, not enough time for breakfast with the family? its ok, let your wife take care of the children so you can scamper off. they’ll understand.
on the way in to the office, stop by McDonalds and grab a sausage and egg McMuffin! and don’t forget to fill up your SUV with gas! grab a pack of cigarettes while you’re there, they’ll help calm you down later when you’re stressed!
if your boss asks you to take a shorter lunch today, do it! you can down a bag of chips and meatball sub in fifteen minutes! plus, less time off the clock means more money, and who doesn’t need that? am i right? after all, you do have thousands of dollars in college loans to pay.
if you don’t get that raise you were hoping for, don’t fret. just think about the CEO of your company. he’s got to earn a living, too! i’m sure he’s struggling just like the rest of us! and if you really want to make more money, how about picking up a second job? everyone respects a good work ethic!
before you head home tonight, stop at the bar. it’s “happy hour” and you can get a basket of cheese fries and four Miller Lite’s for only $15! sounds like a deal you shouldn’t pass up! hell, take advantage of that every night! plus the waitress is probably going to be cute and you can fantasize about having sex with her which, of course, you will not do because you’re a married man! and be careful on the way home that you don’t get pulled over for drinking too much. wait, i just told you to drink! this is confusing…
at home, ask your kids how their day was. that will definitely be enough for them to be sure that you love them. the same goes for your wife, though you should add some kissing so she knows that you’re both in a happy marriage. tell the kids to play their video games in their room while you and the wife watch the nightly news. the anchors will tell you about what’s going on in other countries and how America is making everything better and also show you a lot of things to be very, very afraid of. listen closely.
before you go to bed, remember that Christmas is right around the corner. make sure you buy the car, computer, television, and shoes the commercials you’ve seen have been telling you about. your friends and family are going to love them! oh, and God loves you.
dont worry, only a few more days until the weekend when you can watch sports and teach your kids to look up to the athletes. your wife will be there to make you all lunch and take the kids away when you’ve had too much to drink!
i woke up an hour ago and walked straight outside to my backyard where there’s a table and chairs. i sat there lifeless until about five minutes ago.
i am wearing a woman’s shirt.
my contacts are in, my head is pounding, and i cannot recollect all of last night’s events.
it looks as though someone has been playing Mario Kart 64 in my bedroom.
i’ve got one sock on.. and i wish someone would make me some god damn breakfast.
i just found out that one of my favorite bands, Thrice, is breaking up. AND i missed their last show in LA.
even worse, my FAVORITE band, Thursday, is also breaking up! and they’re not coming to LA for a final show.
i have never typed this out before but it seems appropriate now - FML.
BOOM! on both accounts!
just a quick couple of predictions here…
i will win this week in my fantasy football league.
the bears will beat the chargers.
that is all. good day!
happy friday, you bastards! i’m excited for the weekend (lots of work = lots of money = i can save my other leg from being broken)!
i’m throwing up… a new podcast! for a second did you think i was just puking all over myself and the cat that lives here?
its my favorite one yet so take a listen if you get a chance. also i had an idea for a video and i think its gonna be good! it’ll be up next week, keep your shorts on (sandusky).
dont forget to BEAR DOWN sunday and more importantly tell your mother you love her.
i’ll be at Golden State and Beer Belly all weekend - come drink beer!